Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
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I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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