why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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