You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
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Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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