I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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