I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
high people should be assigned attendants
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
