Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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