She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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