I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
