he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
