This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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