Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
