If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
