I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
