The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize