So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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