i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
