Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I see more hoeing in ur future
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