I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Girls should come with a carfax report
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
