i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's like iHOP with fire
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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