Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
