Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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