I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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