Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
