If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
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So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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