Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
