It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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