Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
