I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
