my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
