Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Michael Bay diarrhea
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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