yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
