My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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