I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
