Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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