ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
