my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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