Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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