My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
