Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Randomize
