living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
