and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
