Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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