I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
