I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize