I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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