Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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