If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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