i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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