We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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