if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
