I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
