My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize