Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
