Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
