I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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