"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Come see our sink grown plant.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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