So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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