listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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