I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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