Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
