I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
