I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
