i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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