Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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