How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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