I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
