she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
