woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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